5 things I learned from visiting China as an au pair

As I’m sure many au pairs who have visited China will agree, when you visit China for the first time—particularly if it’s your first time in Asia—you will leave knowing so much more about the world, with a better understanding of who we all are as people. It’s kind of like gaining a new sense in that before you got to experience the world in this new way, you didn’t know any different. All of a sudden, your eyes are opened, and you have a more profound understanding of the human experience.

This isn’t just because of the people you meet and the cool things you get to see but the new ways of living you get to be a part of and the new perspectives you come to understand.

So, what are some of the interesting things I learned from my time in China?

1. Meals are a crucial part of family life.

Don’t get me wrong, where I am from in the UK, meals are not just a matter of sustenance or an excuse to meet up with friends, but in China mealtimes really hold a place of significance in the family structure. When I was a part of family meals with my host family, I noticed right away that this would be a time of day where important information was exchanged between parent and child about how their day at school was, what new things they learned and what else was going on in their lives that had been missed in the bustle of daily life. If you’ve ever been an au pair in China, you’ll know that the children often have a lot going on and that parents are equally busy with their work lives. This means that meals become a time for families to bond and strengthen the feeling of a family unit.

The food itself is also not merely a matter of sustenance or measured in how tasty it is; Chinese families take health very seriously and meals often take a more medicinal role than they might elsewhere. Don’t be mistaken though, Chinese people make amazing food and you don’t need to worry about it tasting good. Quality, fresh ingredients are often selected at the local markets by someone in the family or an ayi (this means auntie in Chinese but is often given to the family’s helper) and specific food types are incorporated for their medicinal qualities. For example, you can expect to see a lot of hearty broths with red meats and spices in colder weather. And if you know Chinese culture, you’ll know Chinese people always drink warm water and not cold water. This came as a surprise to me coming from the UK when on a hot July day, I was given a cup of hot water. So, make sure to specify you’d prefer your water cold if that’s what you’re craving!

2. Parks are very important!

Once I had settled into my new home in Beijing, I decided to do what I always do when I first arrive in a new place. Head outside and aimlessly wander around and let my new surroundings come to me. It wasn’t long before I found myself walking through a beautiful park. Most people are familiar with Japanese gardens but Chinese parks are very similar and you’ll often see beautiful little lakes and ponds, arched bridges and pavilions or pagodas. I was impressed with how tranquil these spaces are (by design) in a city of over 20 million. There are plenty of spots to relax and slow things down.

What I thought was really interesting though was how these parks served as a third space for locals, especially for older people. I would often walk by and see a group of old men or women playing card games or mahjong. It was clear to me that parks served a critical role in the community. Even more surprising for me was seeing groups of people dancing and practicing tai chi. This may not come as a surprise to people who have been exposed to this kind of thing before, but I know that dancing in a park back in the UK it would elicit some self-consciousness. China has long had a spirit of collectivism and thus it makes sense that these public spaces are held in high regard for urban communities.

3. Chinese food is the best in the world.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and those who have aversion to spice will likely disagree but to me Chinese food is the best in the world.

When I arrived in Beijing, I was a fussy eater and thought a lot of the food looked a bit strange and I was worried I’d go hungry trying to find something I liked. Fast forward today, hot pot is my favourite thing to eat and I am now desperate to travel around China and try the specialities of each province and their cities. The reason I believe it is the best in the world is not just because it has a few amazing dishes but because there is such an incredible variety spanning the length and breadth of the country.

4. China is very safe.

I have since been to some really safe places like Singapore and Kuala Lumpur but another great thing about China is that (at least in my own experience as a male) I felt safe at any hour of the day. While walking around on my own in the evening, I felt totally relaxed which was a big bonus for when I had some free time at the end of the day when my little brother had gone to bed.

5. Superstitions are very common

What superstitions do you follow? A few I always knew about was not walking over three drains or under ladders and not putting new shoes on a table. In the UK, there are lots of others, but I would say most people only really follow a few as a precaution with many completely rejecting the ideas of superstitions altogether. It really depends on the person. However, it’s a different story in China…

Something I found quite amusing was that in our apartment blocks, there was no such thing as a fourth floor. There was a third floor and a fifth floor but no ‘4’ button on the lift/elevator. Another thing that I immediately noticed was the ubiquity of the number ‘8’; Chinese people consider this one of their lucky numbers and try to include it as much as possible in their phone numbers and registration plates.

There are also a few customs when it comes to gift giving. For example, you should never gift someone shoes in China because the Chinese word for shoes is 鞋 xié which resembles the word for bad luck or evil (邪 xié). You also should not gift a clock or watch because in Chinese to gift a clock (送钟 sòng zhōng) is a homonym for the Chinese for ‘attending a funeral’ (送终 sòng zhōng).

I could really write a whole blog about superstitions in China and discuss things like the importance of the colour red or the different Chinese New Year traditions, but these were a few I found the most interesting.